Despite what I kept telling myself and others, I started to care for Jesse. Making a list of pros and cons about him doesn’t help because there are a lot more cons than there are pros, but I’m very glad that he’s no longer living in the apartment because it gives me time to stop liking him, to stop thinking about him. He’s a selfish asshole, and I’m extremely glad that I didn’t have sex with him. Very glad.
I think what’s helping me get over him is the fact that he called me a “stupid bitch”, maybe not to me but to someone else, because I accidentally knocked over his speakers and they broke. He may respect women, but he doesn’t care enough for them, or for me, and that’s not what I need right now. I don’t need him. I don’t need him. I don’t need him. I hope that the only reason we hooked up was because we were in close contact with another for a month. I won’t be able to handle it if I grow to care for him. He’s bad for me.
I need to be with someone who wants the same thing that I want, whatever that is. I’m tired of having little parts of my heart broken by men who don’t give a fuck about what I’m really feeling.
